


Chocolate Spiders

by sparrowhaven



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Chara is a potty mouth, Chara's alive, F/M, Growing Up, Male Chara, NB frisk, coulsart's au, really rare pairing but omfg it's a cute idea in the context of coulsart's au i had to write it, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:57:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6090823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrowhaven/pseuds/sparrowhaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chara can't normally handle his feelings very well, but being around the spider girl is...weirdly nice. </p>
<p>Just what is he supposed to do about that?</p>
<p>A look at how such a relationship would develop over time.</p>
<p>Based on coulsart's AU where Chara's alive and living with Frisk, Sans and Toriel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate Spiders

**Author's Note:**

  * For [coulsart](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=coulsart).



> So [coulsart](http://coulsart.tumblr.com/) came up with a ship that had such a great potential for cute that I just had to try my hand at writing something for it. 
> 
> AU in operation here: Chara's alive and Muffet is like 9 compared to his 11 when most of the AU takes place. Frisk is nonbinary and only a little younger than Chara. Sans and Toriel are married. For more information check out her stuff [here](http://coulsart.tumblr.com/tagged/couls%20art).
> 
> ~~No please don't ask me about the title I suck at them kthx~~

Frisk had insisted on making the whole family go to Spider Café when it finally opened up. They mentioned something about promising to see what the spiders had done with the G they had saved up underground. Ever the drama hog, Chara took every opportunity to moan about how it meant that everyone would be too loud and that the place would be completely packed. He was absolutely right, of course, but at least the food was good. Not that he admitted it out loud, of course.

When the adults were too caught up in talking to pay any attention to him, the redhead took the opportunity to sneak away. Frisk, who really should have been keeping an eye on him as well, was distracted by some of their monster pals. Chara left them to it; he had a mission. A chocolate-flavored one. Sure in the aftermath he'd probably get grounded or banned from the restaurant, but it was no skin off his back. Frisk was the one that befriended and freed everyone. Even if Chara somehow managed to piss off any monster other than Sans, no one would touch him anyway. Just because none of the adults had titles anymore didn't mean he wasn't a prince. He smiled to himself as he dashed behind the counter. This was going to be a piece of cake. Literally, if he was lucky enough.

It was in the middle of his musings over how well the place would burn that he nearly ran into the spider girl. Muffet's five eyes blinked simultaneously at him before she smiled. "Ahuhuhu~" She covered her mouth with one of the two hands that weren't currently holding a pastry or a teapot. Her voice was pure sweetness with a hint of a French accent coming from a fanged mouth. "I see one of the humans has come to find me~ You're not Frisk so you must be...Chara, yes?" He nodded, glancing from her to what he could see of the café. It seemed like no one had noticed the two of them yet. Then again the counter was barely taller than him, so it was a good couple of inches higher than her. "Oh deary, you're not supposed to be back here~ But if you're here to see me I can make an exception~ For a price~" As busy as the place was, Muffet wasn't the only one working. God only knew how many members of her spider family were delivering donuts and cider from the cobweb-covered ceiling in exchange for currency.

Of course he'd met Muffet before. Sort of. Chara's memories of being the angel (and devil) on Frisk's shoulder were weaker now, but she was one of the more memorable monsters. After all, you don't just _forget_ someone with an awesome cupcake spider monster for a pet. He hadn't seen her since he and Frisk were in the underground, but she seemed to be doing well for herself. After all, she ran the place even though she was a little younger than Chara was. If he played his cards right, he might be able to see her pet again AND get some pastries.

Thinking fast, Chara put on one of his most pleasant (and fake) smiles. "Yeah I'm here to see you. And your pet! I bet he's pretty hungry right now. I want to try to feed him." Anything to get him into the kitchen where surely there had to be SOMETHING chocolate related around. Muffet blinked her eyes in a clockwise pattern rapidly for a moment or two before clasping her free hands together with glee. Her occupied arms made to do the same, but instead only bent at the elbows in her excitement while she kicked up a leg. It was a mini version of the spider dance she'd given to Frisk before. A treacherous thought in the back of his mind admitted that the gesture was pretty cute. Chara tried to ignore it.

"Ahuhuhu! Well of course you can feed my darling pet, Chara!" She reached out a free hand to grab at the boy's wrist. Normally he'd flinch away from touch, but he had to keep up appearances that he was interested in joining her. The redhead definitely didn't stare at her hand for a moment too long when he discovered how gentle but firm the spider girl's grip was. "Right this way~" Speaking of firm, an insistent tug got Chara to follow Muffet into what he guessed to be the kitchen. He kept an eye on the floor in case a stray spider decided to get in his path.

Every surface of the kitchen was covered by even thicker cobwebs than the ceiling in the dining area. The dim lighting of the previous room was even dimmer in there. It made the atmosphere seem creepy and foreboding. Spiders of various sizes crawled everywhere, making cider or using said cider to make donuts and other pastries. Chara's smile widened into something more genuine. This was SO cool.

Before he could really get started in trying to search for chocolate in the arachnid-covered cooking area, he finally spotted Muffet's pet. The cupcake monster perked up at seeing its master (or maybe it was because it thought that Chara was food) and skittered over to greet them. It made a series of clicks as it jumped at the spider girl. Muffet tossed aside the items she was holding to hold out five arms to catch her beloved pet. It was bigger than her, but she held it as if it were much smaller. All four items safely landed in different cobwebs around them. She cooed and petted the animal enough to calm it down before tugging Chara next to her. "Here, you can pet it if you'd like."

He hadn't realized that she hadn't let go of his wrist until just then. A warm feeling bubbled in Chara's chest. He chalked that up to being excited to see the creepy creature up close. With his free hand, he slowly reached towards its head (or was it its back? It was hard to tell the difference). The pet gave a deep warning growl, but relented when it realized that it was going to be pet again. Its "top" was surprisingly soft and squishy, like a sponge cake. It didn't take long for the pet to start licking at Chara's face and climb on him. Even as he fell to the floor under the creature's weight, he couldn't help but laugh even as he was trying to get it to stop. Muffet giggled beside him and clapped all three pairs of hands at once.

Chara wanted to stay and play with Muffet's pet, but muffled voices calling his name from the next room told him that he'd been back here for too long as it was. He frowned, only then remembering why he came back here in the first place. _Dammit. No chocolate._ At least this was fun. Reluctantly, he knelt down and gently put the critter on the floor. "Guess I have to go. Thanks for showing me your pet, Muffet." The spider girl stared at him unblinking for a moment before smiling wide enough to show all of her fangs.

"Wait here." Muffet carefully made her way to a counter top of pastries and selected one completely coated in chocolate. She hurried back and grabbed at his hand with two of her own, placing the pastry in his palm. "You know I was PAID to not do this, but...anyone that my pet likes as more than food deserves a little treat I think~ Free of charge~" He looked from the chocolate gift to Muffet and back and probably would have continued to do so if Toriel's voice hadn't made its way through the door. "I'll take you out. I hope we get to see you again soon~"

The next few minutes were a blur. Wisely, Chara had pocketed the snack before anyone noticed that he had it. He couldn't remember the excuse he gave for running off, but it satisfied his mom enough for her to not ask too many questions. Frisk and Sans, of course, didn't believe him for a second. The redhead didn't care, he was still dazed from his encounter with Muffet and her pet. If anything he acted deliberately MORE obnoxious so that no one would suspect anything. It was only later, when everyone had gone home and he had a moment to himself that Chara brought the pastry out again and thought very hard about what had happened.

The café wasn't completely awful, he concluded. Sure it was crowded and there were cobwebs everywhere and everything was purple, but he could get to like the place. After all, there was a really cool spider creature living there. And a _kind of_ cool spider girl. He supposed. Memories of watching Frisk fighting Muffet came to him unbidden. Chara didn't really feel emotions then the way he did now. From what he could remember, feelings were either really faded or filled him up entirely. "Meeting" the spider girl had been one of the times when he felt almost "happy" in that state. He wondered if his heart would have been beating this fast right now if he'd had the chance to meet her before he'd died.

When he ate the pastry late that night, he savored every bite.

~~~~~~~~

After the Café's grand opening, Chara started started using every excuse that he could in order to go back. Not so often that anyone would ask any questions, but he tried to be there at least once a week. At first, he'd cajole Frisk into going with him. He'd remind his sibling about how good the donuts were, or how refreshing the cider was. When that stopped working, he'd mention that several of their monster friends lived near the restaurant. That usually got the kid's determination going without them asking TOO many questions. Eventually it got to the point that Chara would go to the Spider Café alone more often than not. He and Frisk practically had free reign to wander around the monster part of town, and it wasn't unusual for him to wander alone. No one suspected a thing, much to his relief.

When he first started visiting, the redhead made it a point to spend only as long as it would take for him to order something (two spider donuts and a cider, usually), pay for it, and have it given to him before leaving. After a while, when the restaurant wasn't very busy, Chara started staying for longer. Then he started staying no matter how crowded the place was. Sometimes he'd slip into the kitchen to play with the spider girl's pet instead of order anything at all. Other times the human would sit in the restaurant where he could watch Muffet skitter about serving customers. Still other times he and Muffet would have long drawn out conversations about a variety of topics. Chara found himself enjoying his time with her. He found that he could talk to her about anything without worrying about teasing. Okay, maybe a little teasing. Her adorable giggle was more preferable to Sans' chuckles or Frisk's snickers anyway.

It was when Chara started to notice that his thoughts always went back to Muffet that he even fathomed that something might be wrong with him. Doodles in his school notes weren't of nasty creatures and people fighting each other anymore, they had eight limbs, five large eyes, a fang filled grin and were distinctly female. He took pains to avoid squishing regular spiders when they skittered across his desk. His usual preference for green weakened under his newly found appreciation for purple. Chara was lucky that Muffet didn't attend his school or else he'd be even further distracted from his work.

The oddity of this thought prompted him to ask her about it the next time he saw her. "Hey why don't I see you at the school? There's both human AND monster students around, even if the humans are stupid." She reached a hand to her mouth, anticipating the giggles that were about to spill out.

"Ahuhu~ Silly Chara, I do my learning on the web~" She laughed and Chara laughed with her. That's when he knew for certain that something was wrong. If anyone else, even his mom had said a pun like that he would've groaned about it. But with Muffet...

He hated to admit it, but he needed advice.

~~~~~~~~~

There weren't really a lot of options when it came for people to talk to about this sort of thing. 

Toriel was definitely out. The minute she heard about her child having odd feelings, she'd jump to all the wrong conclusions. And would probably cry. Not to mention that Chara would feel obligated to follow any of her advice. He'd beat up anyone that ever accused him of being a mama's boy, but it was entirely true that the redhead cared more about what his adopted mother wanted him to do than anyone else. Toriel would also tell literally _everyone else_ about it and Chara certainly didn't want that to happen.

He couldn't go to Asgore for similar reasons. The big softy would cry over his child growing up because he'd misunderstand what Chara meant. And then he'd try not to look sad while he invited his son to have tea and talk about his feelings some more. The boss monster would at least keep quiet about it. At the cost of the redhead feeling even more guilty than he already did whenever he reminded his dad about the past.

If Chara told Frisk, they'd want to interfere. Ever since their adventure, they saw themself as a top-notch matchmaker. At school, the students would go to Frisk for romantic advice at every break. There were some lunches where Chara couldn't even get a word edgewise to his sibling because they were so eager to help people get together. Finding out that their brother might be having weird feelings for someone else, much less one of Frisk's monster friends? He'd never live that down.

Papyrus was crossed off that list due to his complete inability to keep anything a secret. Or quiet. Chara liked the guy just fine, but he seemed oddly out of the loop about a LOT of things. _Especially_ when it came to feelings. Flowey also wasn't an option. In addition to there still being quite a lot of awkwardness between the two of them, the flower couldn't feel ANYTHING. He'd have nothing to contribute except for snark and insults.

While Undyne and Alyphs were dating and would be possibilities to Chara...except that it'd taken the meddling of an _8-year-old_ for the two of them to finally admit their feelings for each other. Their advice would also likely be references to whatever anime they had been watching lately. This was REAL life there's no way that anything shown there actually worked with REAL people.

There was only one person that Chara could see talking to with the least amount of problems. And he hated that fact to his very SOUL.

The child faked a minor sickness to stay home from school that day. Chara had made damn sure that it was a day when his mom had to be up at the school for...whatever it was that teachers needed to meet together and talk about. Something she couldn't just skip out on at the last minute was all that mattered. It was the only way he could get a chance to talk to his stepdad without anyone else around. He could hear Toriel and Sans' muffled voices from his room. No doubt she was going over every little thing that needed to be done to take care of her son. With Sans reassuring her that he'd take care of his stepson. Or they could've been being mushy. He wouldn't put it past them.

Chara waited until the front door shut and there had been silence in the house for a while before getting up. Unsurprisingly he found the skeleton slouched on the living room couch, TV on but volume low. "so, you're miraculously better, huh?" Sans gave a right-eyed wink to the child. "guess i should hear about why i shouldn't call tori." Ignoring the threat, Chara sat on the other side of the couch. There was a tense silence between the two, broken only by the occasional noise coming from the TV. Sans finally relented. "look, it's still early, i can still get you to class if you hurry up and get dressed."

"There's this girl I've been talking to a lot. She's pretty cool, but I feel really weird every time I'm around her." The child's stare bored into Sans' face. "There's this, bubbling in my chest when she smiles at me. Sometimes my stomach hurts, but in a good way. I laugh at her fucking PUNS...something's wrong with me, isn't it?"

The burly skeleton stared at the redheaded child. His eyesockets were completely dark. "...uh."

Chara's ruddy complexion became a darker red. "If you don't have something to say, I'm just going to--" Sans interrupted him.

"no, i just, i don't," It was rare to see the skeleton monster flustered about anything. The last time the child had seen him this thrown off, his mom got proposed to. Chara made a mental note to give Sans a particularly rude awakening tomorrow morning for that reminder. "i thought i'd be talkin' to _frisk_ about this sorta stuff, not..." That sentence died at a green-eyed glare. "aren't you a little _young_ to be asking about these kinda feelings?" Sans' avoidance of the topic didn't escape Chara's notice. He HAD to give a rebuttal, though.

"Frisk flirted and went on a date with your brother when they were eight."

"fair point."

"Now answer my fucking question."

"i don't even know why you're talking to **me** of all people, chara."

The redhead puffed up his chest which was nothing compared to Sans' "roundness," but it made him feel a little better. "You know how to _get to the point._ " Chara gave the skeleton a pointed glare with the phrase. "And you won't say anything to anyone unless you feel like not living to see your next anniversary." 

Apparently someone on the television's gameshow won big, the cheering crowd a stark contrast to the rising tensions between human and monster in the living room. Finally Sans gave a sigh, running his hand over the top of his skull. "alright, i'll bite. go over that again, and any other "weirdness" you've been feeling."

Chara hated to repeat himself, but did so anyway. His goal had been to hide Muffet's identity from his stepdad, but details about her slipped out as he spoke. He could see one side of the skeleton's brow ridge raising while the opposite "eyelid" lowered when he accidentally mentioned her five eyes. His face burned, but not a word came out of the monster's mouth until the redhead had said his piece.

"well kid, i'm pretty sure i know what's "wrong" with you. sounds to me like you've got a..." Sans quickly moved from one side of the couch to the other. Chara didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late. The skeleton's impossibly bulky body had him trapped against the couch arm. "... **crush.** "

"Get OFF OF ME YOU FAT BASTARD." How could someone made of bones be so HEAVY? Sans cackled at Chara's futile attempts to push him back, but let the child scoot him back to his previous position. "What do you mean a crush? And NOT the other kind."

The skeleton gave a low chuckle and put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "i mean you've got mushy feelings for this spider girl of yours. it's like those cartoons you'n frisk watch where one've them gets hearts showing up everywhere around another one. only it's a hell of a lot messier then how they show it." Chara hadn't watched any of THOSE kind of cartoons in ages, but he could sort of understand what Sans meant. "doesn't mean anything's wrong, just that you have better taste in humor than i thought you did."

"Well what am I supposed to do about it?" Everything that Chara could recall about what happens when one person liked another involved stupid things like desperate confessions, elaborate plans that fall through at the very end and worst of all KISSING. There was no way he was going to do any of that if he had any say about it.

"you want my honest opinion? wait." The child stared at Sans like he grew another head.

"Wait??"

"your crush is probably gonna fade when you get older. better to just ride out the great and awful feelings til then." Sans winked at him. "unless both of you are ready for mushy things like holding hands and staring into each other's eyes and kiss--"

Chara cut him off. "OKAY I get your point. But what do I DO until then?"

The skeleton shrugged. "seems to me like you're already friends. just keep being friends. if she shows interest in being more than friends then you can come back to me about it. and if it hurts too much to be friends then don't go see her anymore. plain and simple." 

"Says the skeleton that started dating my mother as soon as everyone got settled." The redhead couldn't help but sound bitter about THAT little detail.

"yeah, after we'd been knock-knock joke buddies for years." Sans winked at Chara again. "how d'ya think i got the courage to ask a classy lady like your mom out in the first place?"

Chara hated to admit it, even to himself, but the skeleton had a goddamn good point. "I will _think_ about it." He muttered through gritted teeth. Sans now had a satisfied smirk on his face. His wake up call the next morning was especially exciting for everyone involved.

~~~~~~~~

It turned out that Sans didn't have terrible advice after all. 

Knowing that his feelings might fade some day gave Chara the wherewithal to continue visiting the Café. He pretended as if nothing had changed (because it really hadn't) and kept up with thinking of Muffet as a friend. Even when the homework seemed to be piling on and the idiotic kids around him were even stupider, he had an escape for at least a couple of hours a week. The spider girl was more than happy to listen to his problems or try to help him out with school questions, even if she didn't attend the school herself.

If she ever had feelings similar to his, Chara couldn't ever tell. Even after he inexplicably gained a significant other towards the end his middle school years, Muffet was nothing but supportive of him (when he finally had the guts to let her know about it). She even offered to serve the two of them in the Spider Café. He couldn't bring himself to do so, citing an arachnophobia in his partner (which, as it turned out, was absolutely true and played a role in why they broke up). It wasn't that his feelings had ever gone away entirely, but the onset of teendom had complicated what had at first been a simple crush. Instead of really fading, the feelings...evolved. Chara was never sure how to describe it in words, but the way he felt about Muffet was very different compared to the hot flashes of attraction he got towards some people in school. Whenever the idea came to him to ask her out, he became even more flustered and stuttered even more than he ever did with the humans he liked. It was just easier to keep pretending like they were in the same position they were when they were younger.

It was more difficult to visit her when he moved into the high school. Not only was the building further away from the restaurant, but Chara frequently was followed by a group of older kids after school. He figured they wanted to get him back for something they thought he did. Not that they were brave enough to actually follow him home (after all, who would be stupid enough to harass kids connected to the most powerful monsters around near their own house?). They were annoying enough that a few weeks after they started tailing him he deliberately took the easy way to the Spider Café, hoping they would follow him. The redhead had been itching for an opportunity to tell the idiots off, and being away from the school at least made it easier to deny that he'd done so in the first place.

"Your usual, deary?" Muffet asked as Chara walked up to the counter. Over the years they had known each other, the spider girl had let her hair grow out from the short pigtails of her youth. Today she wore her dark purple hair in a couple of braids that Chara was honestly jealous of. The Café was emptier than usual, which was what he normally preferred. Today, he wasn't so sure about not wanting an audience. He hadn't realized that he hadn't said anything in favor of concentrating on the group of kids outside the door until Muffet waved one of her hands in front of his face. "Chara? Is something wrong?" 

Feeling a stab of guilt, he decided to tell the truth. "Those fucking kids have been following me around for a while." Normally he'd avoid cussing around Muffet, but he just had to get it off his chest. "Today was fucking awful and they're still doing it so I want to just...you know." He gave his creepiest smile to her as an example. It wasn't nearly as terrifying as the faces he'd made when he was a ghost. The reactions that people had to his current expression were still priceless, though. Muffet wasn't all that impressed with it right now, but she understood what he meant. 

"They've been bothering you...?" She leaned against the counter. Her two middle arms held up her body, her upper arms propped her head up by the chin, while the lower two placed themselves on her hips. There was a glint in her eyes that reminded Chara of a predator finding prey. It sent a thrill through him.

"Yeah. They need to be alive though, so I figured I'd just scare them off." His heart beat a little faster. He'd never seen Muffet angry before. Frustrated, sure, but never truly angry. She turned two of her five eyes on him. The other three were trained on the tinted window, where the older teens could be seen discussing something among themselves.

"Alive." Her voice held none of her usual cheerfulness. All of a sudden she placed one of her hands on Chara's own, startling him. "I know you want to take care of them yourself, Chara, but may I?" Two green eyes met with five purple ones. Try as he might, a flush covered more of his cheeks than usual from this one gesture. He didn't know if it was his feelings for the spider girl, her quick change in demeanor or some other reason but he didn't feel as willing to fight the teens anymore.

"Uh. Sure." He paused a moment. "I want to watch, though." The grin she gave him sent a shiver down his spine. He couldn't tell if it was the good or bad kind. 

"Certainly, deary~ Just hold still~" It was really odd to hear her so cheerful when her expression was still quite sinister. Muffet picked up a teapot and passed it over to one of her upper hands. She held it above Chara's head and tipped it over. He already knew what the spider girl was doing, but he flinched anyway. Purple magic poured over the human, turning him that color for a moment before his soul appeared in front of him and the color seeped into it. He could see faint purple lines that he knew he could climb extending into the ceiling. "Just wait up there, please. I'm sure this will be...entertaining~" The sing-song way she said that let Chara know he didn't have a choice anymore. He obliged and climbed the magic lines up into the cobwebs. As soon as the redhead was settled, the lines he had just climbed up vanished, leaving three for him to switch between if he so desired. He knew he would be easily spotted if any of them thought to look up, but he was also pretty certain that none of them were smart enough to do that.

Almost immediately after he'd climbed up, the older teens entered the Café. From his angle, he counted five total. A couple of them scanned the dining area, presumably to try to find Chara's distinctive hair among all the purple. One of their number seemed to cower immediately at the sight of spiders skittering on the tables. The bravest of them, presumably their leader, marched up to the counter where the spider girl waited. The other one had that look of trying to be ready for anything. Muffet smiled at them, folding four of her hands around the teapot she had recently used. "Welcome to the Spider Café~ Would you like to buy a spider donut? All proceeds go to real spiders~" If he didn't know better, Chara would've thought that she sounded like her usual self. The teen that was frightened of the spiders jumped at her catchphrase. She widened her smile, showing off her fangs.

The leader wasn't very impressed. "There was this kid that came in here. Can't miss him, he's a midget and a ginger with a stupid green hoodie." Chara felt vaguely offended by the teen's description. Muffet made a show of thinking about it.

"Hmm...no, can't say I've seen a human like that. Maybe you're thinking of a monster?" There was something about the way she said the word monster when referring to him that got Chara to crack a smile himself. 

Leader was not as amused. He put his hands on the counter and leaned in close to the spider girl's face. "We saw him walk in here. Where. Is. He?" Arachnophobic teen squeaked out something that Chara couldn't understand, but was obviously a signal that something was happening. The redhead couldn't tear his eyes away from the two at the counter, though. Muffet's eyes blinked counterclockwise at the leader.

"I don't like your tone, human." Her own tone took on something venomous. She stayed right where she was. It wasn't quite a FIGHT, but it was close enough. "I want you to get out of my Café." Now the leader smirked at the monster. Chara's face fell at that. A movement from the kitchen caught his attention away from the scene for long enough for him to feel better again. He quickly retrieved his phone and opened up the camera function. This was going to be good.

"Or you'll what? Spook me? Monsters ain't as tough as humans are, stupid." The two who had been trying to find Chara nearly tripped over themselves trying to run away from something. Loiterer looked confused before he saw what scared the other teens away and joined up with them. Arachnophobe took one look and fainted. The leader, who had been trying to have a staring contest with Muffet finally had his concentration broken. "Just what the fuck is going on here?" Her giggle sounded menacing. 

"Ahuhu~ I forgot to feed my pet this morning~ She and her babies need a _lot_ of food." It was at this moment that a miniature version of the cupcake creature that Chara had come to enjoy finally made its way up the teen's body and onto the counter. He gave a yelp and fell backwards to the floor, where a half dozen other pets were waiting. Mama cupcake licked her chops above the idiot's head. "Dinner time, dearies~"

The resulting video became a joke between Chara and Muffet for the rest of his high school experience. Whenever either of them were particularly down about something, one would reference something from it and the both of them would be able to smile and laugh once again. Tensions between monsters and humans aside, watching people piss themselves out of fear before bolting away would ALWAYS be funny. Chara was never bothered by anyone attempting to bully him again, and Muffet was never accused of anything undue.

~~~~~~~~

After high school, Chara lost touch with Muffet. He didn't mean to, but adult life got in the way enough to put a halt to his visits. When he visited home he would occasionally think about the Café and feel a pang of regret about what could have been between him and the spider girl. Something would inevitably distract him though, and the thought would fade away. Oddly enough, he never thought to look for dates after the awkwardness of high school had passed.

At the beginning of one of his longer visits home, Frisk insisted that they both go visit the monster part of town. Chara tried to get them to admit to why they wanted to go there all of a sudden, to no avail. Eventually, he gave in and even drove the two of them the short distance to the district on his motorcycle. It didn't take much to convince him to use it; ever since he learned how to drive the vehicle he was hardly seen away from it (as much as his mother worried about it). The siblings walked together down the familiar streets, Frisk leading the way. It was times like these that the redhead wished that either of them could have ever learned how to use one of Sans' "shortcuts."

"So what's the occasion? A trip down memory lane?" He said this as a joke, but childhood memories of walking down these very streets with his sibling had indeed resurfaced within him.

"Something like that." Frisk answered vaguely. Before Chara could ask what they meant, a very familiar purple sight came into view. The Spider Café had gotten some renovations since he'd last seen it. It was a lot bigger than he remembered. The sign's fancy script now had what looked like neon added to it, drawing the eye with its unusually bright violet. There were tables outside where patrons could sit and it looked like the dining area had expanded significantly. Muffet had been doing well for herself, it seemed. He could feel his heart beating faster as he remembered how long it had been since he'd last seen her. "Pretty impressive, yeah?"

"Yeah." Chara was as eloquent as he always was.

"Guess you hadn't heard about the deals she's managed to make around the country. The Spider Café's going to be a chain soon." No, he hadn't heard. Chara hadn't even thought about looking up what Muffet had been doing. Now he felt even more guilty. "And a little birdie's told me that she might not have time to make it back here all that often."

Chara wondered how his sibling could always find a way to make him feel like an even bigger asshole. "Can you get to the point already?"

Frisk beamed. "You're asking her out today."

Well that was unexpected. And blunt. "What--no! No way!" The redhead raised his hands in front of him defensively. He could feel his face get redder. "Even if she wanted to go out with me...o-or if I wanted to go out with her, why should I?"

Frisk opened their eyes wide enough to let Chara see that they were rolling them. "For someone that wanted to get to the point, you really like to draw things out. First of all, did you really think you were being subtle about all your visits back then?"

There only one way to go for this line of questioning. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He tried to sound intimidating, but it was really difficult to try when his sibling was significantly taller than him. They were also utterly unafraid.

"You can pretend to be ignorant all you want, I know _every_ monster around here. They could see your feelings for Muffet from a mile away." Frisk crossed their arms and huffed. "But you never tried to date her! Ever! Even though it would've probably made you both really happy!" His sibling's matchmaking habits never went away as they both grew older. Sure they'd cut back on the meddling, but Frisk couldn't help themself when it came to trying to give other people a 'happy ending.' "And now I'm gonna make you give it a shot."

"How? You don't have anything on me." That could be proven, was Chara's thought.

Frisk gave their widest smile. The one that reminded Chara that they hung out with Undyne far too often. "You're asking her out or I post the pictures I took of you after the Christmas party."

"WHAT?!" They couldn't mean THOSE pictures.

"The _really_ unflattering ones." Frisk unlocked their phone and showed one to him. Yes, they _did_ mean those pictures.

Chara tried to snatch the phone out of his sibling's grasp. Too bad they were really good at dodging. "I thought you deleted those!"

"What, just DELETE good blackmail? I'm not that stupid." They gave a chuckle that rivaled Sans'.

Chara felt sick to his stomach. "...I taught you too well."

"Just go get it over with, you've had your crush on her for what, ten years?"

"...more than that," He admitted under his breath. Frisk still caught it.

"All the more reason to go do it now before she gets even more famous and surrounded by paparazzi. I mean, the worst that could happen is that she'd say no." Which was what Chara was afraid of. He was equally nervous about Muffet saying yes. They looked like they had an idea before he could voice his concerns. "Unless you want ME to go in and--" They were cut off before they could finish their sentence.

"NO--" Chara cleared his throat; his voice had momentarily gone back to the high pitch it had been when he was young. "No. I'll do it. Happy now?"

Frisk's smile was looking to become permanent. "Not until you get in there and ask. I'll be out here in case you chicken out."

Chara bristled. "I'm not going to. You'll see." Battered dignity was what drove the redhead's steps down the sidewalk and through the door. His bravado vanished as soon as he laid eyes on his childhood crush for the first time in years. Muffet had cut her fluffy hair since high school. It's serious style held in place by a bright red headband made her look more grown up than he'd ever seen her before. The effect was only amplified by the spider girl--no, woman's sensible yet stylish dress that Chara had to admit fitted her nicely. Her heels clacked against the hardwood floor as she personally attended to the patrons that were frequenting the Café. He didn't realize he had been staring for too long until she glanced at the entrance and noticed him. Muffet gave the redheaded human a bright smile and waved him over to the counter. That was the only thing that got him moving.

Palms slick with sweat, he attempted to grip the marble top without looking too obvious about it. "G-greetings, Muffet." Chara had gotten out of the habit of being extra polite around people. He slipped back into old speaking habits whenever he was particularly nervous, though. It was warranted in this situation.

"Chara dear~" The spider woman purred and leaned on the counter. Two of her hands held up her head. Her other two pairs of hands were neatly folded on the top and in front of her respectively. Her voice had gotten deeper; less sing-song and more...sensual. Whether that was because of Chara's current situation or because of her accent, he wasn't sure. "It's been a while~"

He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Uh, yeah. It has, has it not." It didn't SEEM like Muffet noticed anything unusual about his behavior yet.

"Still the same charmer, ahuhu~" Even her laugh seemed to have changed in the time they'd been apart. He wasn't sure if he could handle much more of this. "So, did you come to see little old me...or did you want to order something?" In that moment Chara seriously considered doing just that. He could buy a couple of spider donuts and a cider and just back off. Routine (even the outdated kind) was comfortable, safe. This...this wasn't. It was too late to back out, though. Frisk was still sitting at one of the tables outside and watching the whole thing. They were probably grinning as wide as they could with a finger over the "post" button on their phone. He had to do this.

Managing to spit it out, though, was going to be an issue. "U-um. Actually I was, k-kind of wondering if...if maybe..." Chara held onto his braid as if it would be able to help him talk better. He could feel his face becoming beet red. With a shuddering breath, he managed to get one sentence said with some clarity. "L-let me try that again." Just as he was about to do so, a customer called out to get Muffet's attention. The two of them simultaneously glared in the direction of the voice, putting an end to that. When they looked back at each other, they both started laughing. That eased up his tension quite a bit.

"I'm SO sorry for that, Chara. Most customers know better than to _bug_ me when I'm in the middle of talking with someone special~" Chara snorted before realizing what she'd said. She thought he was special? Since when? "You were saying?"

"...well, before we got rudely interrupted I was going to ask you something." He blinked. Muffet gave him a clockwise blink. Somehow he'd managed to say that without stuttering once. Progress, at least.

The spider woman let her hands fall from her face and tilted her head. "Ask me what, deary?" There was no teasing in her voice, though there was a hint of concern. Now he was back to feeling nervous. Chara's eyes fell on a chocolate covered spider pastry. It seemed like one of the better options to focus on for the moment.

"Er, do you...uh, w-want..." He swallowed, trying to think quickly. Maybe making this sound less like a real date would help him spit it out better. "...to go on a ride?" That was awful and he knew it. Muffet didn't have any eyebrows to raise, but a couple of her eyes shut a little while a couple others opened further. It was close enough to a quizzical expression. "O-on my motorcycle, I mean. I've got one of those now." As if his outfit didn't make it obvious enough. "We could, uh, go somewhere. Together." Chara shoved his hands deeply into his jacket pockets, expecting the worst.

Instead, he felt a couple of hands lift his face up. Green eyes met with purple. As soon as the spider woman knew that she had his full attention, she gave him a wide smile. "I would love to, Chara. I've been waiting for you to ask me that, silly~" He could have sworn that his heart stopped beating for a minute. It didn't take very long for it to restart with gusto. 

"H-h-how, how l-l-long..." The redhead was no longer capable of words, but Muffet understood him easily enough. She tapped at her face with one of the hands that wasn't currently on Chara's own freckled one. 

"It's hard to say, deary. I think I've waited since we were children. It's silly, isn't it~" The human felt like he was going to melt into a puddle of happiness. The only thing keeping him in the here and now was her hands on his skin. "Just let me take care of a couple of things and we can head out~" She made to lean in closer, but a glance at her surroundings seemed to make her change her mind. Chara was fairly certain that he'd die if she showed him that much affection that quickly. Even so, he reciprocated the attempt by grabbing at one of her hands with one of his and giving it a squeeze. Her entire face was flushed violet before she skittered off to do what she needed to. 

Dazed as he was, the redhead nearly missed Muffet returning and wrapping all six of her arms around one of his. A few patrons cheered the two on as they exited the restaurant. Frisk waved enthusiastically as the two passed them by. "Just make sure she doesn't bite TOO hard, Chara!" Muffet was on the arm that was closest to his sibling, so he made due with glaring at Frisk as the couple continued to walk towards his motorcycle. He'd have to think of some good revenge later.

As soon as they arrived at the vehicle, Chara put his helmet on and swung a leg over his bike. He didn't have to wait long before a pair of arms wrapped around his chest. And another held onto his shoulders. With a third pair of hands placing themselves on his hips. He was very glad for the dark tint of his visor. Otherwise _anyone_ could see his face become the same color as his hair. He could feel Muffet's body against his back as she sat on his motorcycle. "Let's go, deary~" Her voice purred in his ear underneath the noise of the bike. The engine revved and the vehicle peeled into the street. The spider woman's laugh could be heard until they were out of the monster district.

~~~~~~~~

Chara had felt his phone buzz later that night, he but ignored it for more important things until it became insistent. The texts were worth the temporary inconvenience, though.

**Frisk[22:25]:** seriously tho she's probably gonna eat you  
**Frisk[22:32]:** wait  
**Frisk[22:33]:** forget I said anything omfg  


An evil grin crossed his face. Now he could have some revenge.

**Chara[22:34]:** Who says I don't want that to happen.  
**Chara[22:34]:** :)  
**Frisk[22:35]:** ijgboaijerergfffUCK YOU CHARA  
**Frisk[22:36]:** THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT NOW  
**Chara[22:37]:** :) You make this too easy.  
**Chara[22:37]:** Pleasant dreams. :) :) :)

"What's that you're texting?" Muffet purred in his ear. Chara locked his phone and put it away. 

"Sibling revenge." He grinned before holding her closer. Now everything was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I ended up listening to Caravan Palace's new album a lot while writing this. No real relevance except that they're fun to listen to and jazzy/swingy music seems to fit Muffet really well imo.
> 
> Also this turned out more like several short fics put together and I'm not that unhappy with it. Nice.


End file.
